Not in the Cards
by Morganeth Taren'drel
Summary: Family first. That was how John had raised Dean, you protected your own, did whatever you had to, to keep them safe. Why was it he was the only one who really got it?


**AN**: Ive been struggling to write again lately, cant seem to get much done. So Ive been toying with some oneshots. If you read I hope you enjoy this pre-series look into Deans character.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own the characters from Supernatural

**Not in the Cards**

"Dean, please have a seat."

The teen eyed Mr. Hollis warily, reluctantly stepping into the guidance councilor's office. Although he didn't mind being pulled from a mind numbing English class, Dean wasn't really interested in having a conversation with Mr. Hollis. The less he had to interact with teachers and other officials from the school the better. They'd been attending this quiet Kentucky school for longer than most; nearly two months now and Dean was itching to put it behind him.

Dean lowered himself onto the plastic chair across from Hollis' desk, slouching on the hard surface with a bored expression.

There was a moment of awkward silence as the councilor considered Dean carefully. "So," Hollis broke the silence finally. "How are you liking your classes?"

Winchester didn't bother trying to conceal his disgust at the question, rolling his eyes sharply.

"Right, sorry. Stupid question," Hollis admitted with a rueful smile.

"Does anyone actually answer?" Dean shot back, green eyes shifting idly around the office; over the pictures and awards which lined every surface that wasn't already covered by bookshelves and filing cabinets.

The councilor chuckled softly. "It's rare, but it has been known to happen. Your brother Sam is an excellent example."

"No surprise there," Dean replied with an easy grin thinking about his little brother. "Kid's a geek."

-_"But I've got a really important test on Monday, I need to study," Sam fumed._

_"You're responsibility is to your family!" John barked each word, not about to give an inch._

_Dean watched the stubborn set of both his dad and Sam's jaw and braced himself for the explosion. They were too much alike to see anything eye to eye._-

"Dean, I wanted to know if you'd considered post secondary education," Mr. Hollis said, finally getting to his point.

Dean shook his head immediately. "I hardly consider _this_ education," he drawled, casting a wide look around the room.

-_"What are these?" he asked snatching the papers off the end of Sammy's bed._

_His brother made a quick grab for the papers but was too slow. "They're uh..." Sam looked down refusing to meet Dean's eyes. "They're university applications."_

_Dean didn't know what to say to that. He shouldn't have been surprised that Sam would look for his first route out; but he was. Maybe they weren't so much alike after all. For John family always came first._-

Hollis drew in a breath, brown eyes watching Dean intently. "Well, what do you plan to do with your life once you've graduated?" he asked then, leaning against the surface of his cluttered desk.

Dean considered that to be a loaded question; one he wasn't about to answer honestly. "I'll go where the work is," he replied with a shrug knowing that it could be taken in an innocent way.

"You haven't considered a career?" Mr. Hollis pressed.

-_Had one since I was ten_- Dean thought shifting on the hard seat.

"I've talked to several of your teachers," the councilor continued. "Despite your lack of interest in the classes you still manage good grades."

Dean cleared his throat and looked away; he wanted to be discussing himself even less than his possible future.

"You're clearly very smart," the older man said after a moment. "Why hide it?"

"Just not interested in putting out the effort," he replied with a shrug. Dean didn't want to draw attention to himself. He liked the idea of being a ghost; slipping away without anyone noticing.

"Don't sell yourself short Dean."

Releasing a breath, Dean shifted to the edge of his seat. "Are we done?" he asked, pointedly getting to his feet. He didn't like conversations like this, didn't like thinking about what could be. He had a job to do; he was going to do it.

Family first.

Mr. Hollis sighed but also stood; he took a file from the top of his desk and held it across the distance. "Look Dean, all I'm saying is you should keep your options open," he explained waiting for Dean to take the file.

He reluctantly accepted the folder and flipped it open, seeing several pamphlets on different colleges and universities. With a forced smile of thanks, Dean turned to leave the office. Staring down at the folder for a minute, once he was standing in the hall, Dean sighed and tossed the file into the trash.

It just wasn't in the cards.

Dean leaned back with a frustrated sigh, wondering darkly how that mix of memories had slipped from the deep corner of his mind where he'd kept them buried all these years. Ducking his head green eyes swept over what had triggered them; a large on campus apartment building rose up before him.

He'd tried; he really had. He wanted Sam to be happy; he'd spent most of his life trying to make his little brother happy. But things had changed; Dean felt yet again that John and Sam were more alike than either would care to admit. John had vanished without a word; he'd abandoned his family. Just like Sam.

Drawing in a breath Dean pulled a hand sharply down his jaw. They'd turned their backs on him. Dean had been given the same opportunities but he'd always put family first, just like John had taught him. He tried not to think too much about what it said about him that both John and Sam had been willing to leave.

Dean stepped out of Impala, glancing down at his watch briefly illuminating the face. There was no way Sam was going to be happy to see him. Dean smirked already not caring, he wanted to see his brother; a piece of his family not entirely lost to him.

Thanks for Reading!

Morganeth Taren'drel


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